Thursday, August 16, 2007 . 11:20 AM

Today shall mark my saddest day in my life...

Yesterday night i hardly sleep, jessica is all over my mind, at abt 12 am i called her but she din answer, sms also din reply...should be asleep! Cant deliver wat i waana say...i am more awake...heart beat is running fast!

Today morning send her a sms, after then we agreed to chat... but chat abt alot of thing, but now can only recall abit...soon we ended our call, i believe i have push her for an answer not evening knowing...i am getting more lost and panic..never never feel like this before! Wonder if i did something wrong last life..had so much love barrier this life..haiz..!

The whole day i feel lost, not myself...my colleague must be worrying abt me..suddenly throught came into my mind wildly, like going to her house void deck to see her! Make a vom infront of God ... go to her mum and beg for cheng chuan, telling her mum how much i love her, explaining she is very important in my life! Promise that i can give her xin fu, althought not now but in future..or let a car hit me then i be ended in hospital and she will come visit me... or just die ba...

But still the most saddening thing is when huifen say that i am scaring her if i keep pushing her..my heart went down all the way...i am the one who say break off, i am now the one who is scaring the love of my life...
I am feeling so terrible , so upset..,and at last my heart is overloaded, i flood the bus with my tears.. i duno how am i going to work tomorrow..feel like tendering my letter if dear dun come back to me..there no meaning working already since the main reason is i work for her!

Awww...feel like ROM with her...haiz i also duno wat i typing le..


Saddest Erik